Shy Bairns Get Nowt
(And Why I’m Asking You for a Favour)
We moved house earlier this year from a quiet little estate of bungalows where the doorbell barely rang in seven years, to a brand new development full of families, chaos and life.
And this week, it truly came alive.
For seven Halloweens, we’ve never had a single trick-or-treater. Not one. The pumpkins sat glowing hopefully in the window for nothing.
But this year? It was bedlam. Glorious bedlam.
I left my almost-16-year-old at home while I drove to collect James from university. About twenty minutes into the journey, my phone pinged with a message:
“How long will you be? Half the village has knocked on the door.”
It made me grin the whole way to Durham.
When we got home, the sweet bowl was decimated, the doorstep scattered with ghost-shaped Haribo wrappers, and my son looked slightly traumatised - but in that “I’ve just survived something epic” kind of way.
It was lush.
The sound of laughter, tiny (and incredibly polite) witches and superheroes racing between houses, parents chatting at the end of driveways - it felt like we’d landed in the middle of something joyful and communal.
Then last night, the 1st of November, mind you, there was another knock.
I opened the door to find a group of cheeky twelve-year-olds asking if we had any “leftover Halloween sweets.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at their audacity. And, of course, I gave them a handful. (Better them than me, right?)
And that’s when it hit me - that old North East saying:
“Shy bairns get nowt.”
Which literally means, “shy children don’t get anything”, or “if you don’t ask, you don’t get”.
Those kids didn’t care that Halloween was technically over. They saw an opportunity and went for it. And they got sweets for their courage.
So, inspired by the cheeky boys of County Durham, I’m asking too.
Here’s My Ask
I need 100 women to test in my new diagnostic - an in-depth quiz that takes about 20 minutes.
It’s long on purpose.
Every question helps me build a reliable, research-backed framework for my third or fourth (I have not decided) book: Good Girl Deprogramming @ Work - how women can break free from the roles that keep us small in workplaces built for obedience, not brilliance.
When you take it, you’ll get a detailed breakdown of the 10 Good Girl Roles - from The Pleaser to The Perfectionist - plus personalised insights into which patterns are most active for you right now.
Take the Diagnostic here → https://goodgirlroles.scoreapp.com
If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Why do I always do this?”, this will help you answer that - with compassion, context, and strategy.
And if you choose to take part, you’re not just gaining insight for yourself - you’re helping create data that will change how we talk about women, leadership, and burnout at work.
Maybe we could all take a leaf out of the book of the cheeky bairns, and the brave women asking for what they need.
Because shy bairns get nowt - and bold ones change the world.
Mx 💜
Enterprising kids! 😁
Done ✔️