The Part of You That’s Not Welcome Here (Yet)
Why Shadow Work Is Sovereign Work
“I just keep sabotaging myself.”
That’s what a client said to me during a recent coaching session.
She’d been offered a leadership opportunity, one that aligned perfectly with her values and vision, and she’d spent the entire week convincing herself not to take it.
“I’m not ready.”
“What if they realise I’m not as good as they think?”
“I’ll just fail and prove them right.”
“Someone like me doesn’t get to do that.”
Sound familiar?
This is what happens when the shadow runs the show.
She wasn’t being dramatic. Or irrational.
She was being haunted by parts of herself she’d been taught to hide.
What Is the Shadow?
The shadow is made up of the parts of you that have been cast out.
Not because they’re bad, but because they were inconvenient.
Too emotional. Too loud. Too quiet. Too opinionated. Too ambitious. Too needy. Too angry. Too much. Not enough.
The parts of you that didn’t fit the Good Girl mould.
The ones that got you in trouble. Or got you ignored. Or made things unsafe.
So you learned to tuck them away.
But They Don’t Stay Gone.
The thing about shadow parts is: they don’t disappear.
They shapeshift.
They show up as jealousy you’re ashamed of.
As rage that leaks in unhelpful places.
As imposter syndrome.
As numbness.
As sabotage.
As perfectionism.
As burnout.
You think you’re being reasonable. You’re actually being ruled by a part of you that learned: it’s not safe to be seen as you really are.
Shadow Work Isn’t About Becoming Better. It’s About Becoming Whole.
This work isn’t about “fixing” you.
It’s about un-exiling the parts of you that were never broken in the first place.
When we do shadow work, we’re not just playing around with journaling prompts.
We’re engaging in deep reclamation.
We’re asking:
Who did I have to stop being to survive?
What gifts did I bury to be accepted?
What parts of me have been living in shame?
And maybe most importantly:
What would change if I let those parts back in?
The Good Girl and the Hidden Wild Thing
Good Girl Conditioning trains us to be acceptable.
Shadow Work invites us to be authentic.
That tension lives in your body.
It’s the lump in your throat when you want to speak up.
It’s the tightness in your chest when you’re being praised for something that doesn’t feel like the real you.
It’s the flatness in your day, even when everything looks successful on paper.
When the Good Girl runs the show, your shadow self becomes a threat.
But when you step into Sovereignty, when you stop performing and start leading, the shadow becomes your greatest ally.
You Can’t Lead What You Can’t Face
If you want to be the kind of leader who brings realness, depth, and bravery into the room, you have to start with yourself.
You have to get honest about what you’ve been hiding.
Not to weaponise it.
Not to bleed on your team.
But to integrate. To become resourced. To stop leaking energy into repression.
The Sovereign Self doesn’t perform. She presides.
And she doesn’t need to apologise for her fire, her softness, her edges, her contradictions.
This Week’s Pattern Interrupt: Shadow Integration - Reclaiming the Parts You Hide
If you’ve been shape-shifting, self-censoring, or playing safe, this week’s immersion is for you.
We’re diving into the world of shadow:
What it is (and isn’t)
How to meet your hidden parts with compassion and curiosity
Why reclaiming them changes how you lead, love, and show up in the world
We’ll do:
A guided inner journey to meet your shadow self
Reflection + writing practices to understand what she needs
A reclamation exercise that might just change how you see yourself forever
This isn’t about dredging up your trauma.
It’s about getting your power back.
Your whole self is welcome here.
What You Can Start Noticing Now
If you’re not sure what’s in your shadow, try this:
What Do You Judge in Others?
Especially other women.
That’s often a clue about what you’ve had to suppress in yourself.
What Are You Afraid People Might Say About You?
“She’s arrogant.”
“She’s needy.”
“She’s too emotional.”
“She’s selfish.”
Notice the sting. That’s a breadcrumb.
What Feels Unacceptable About You?
Even if you never say it out loud.
Even if you know it’s not “logical.”
These feelings are often the gateway to the gold.
Come As You Are. Shadow and All.
Key 5: Shadow Integration – Reclaiming the Parts You Hide
Friday 15 August · 12:00–13:30 BST (+ 30 min Integration Lounge)
Replay available
This is one of the most powerful immersions in the series.
It’s tender. It’s fierce. It’s deeply freeing.
Because when you stop hiding from yourself, you stop hiding from the world.
And that changes everything.
Mx
P.S. You don’t need to know your whole shadow story to come. You don’t need to be ready. Just be willing to meet yourself more honestly. That’s where Sovereignty begins.