Why I'm closing this space (and where I've actually gone)
I want to properly explain what’s happened here, rather than just letting this newsletter go quiet and leaving you guessing.
For the last year and a bit, I’ve been running two homes at once. This Substack. And a Kit email list that’s grown into something much bigger - now over 2,400 people. The problem wasn’t that either space was bad. The problem was that they weren’t talking to each other. I’d write something honest here, and the people who needed it most (the ones already on my email list) would never see it. I was splitting my best thinking between two rooms and wondering why neither one felt fully alive.
That’s not a sustainable way to build anything. So I made a decision: one home. Properly resourced, properly written, properly mine.
It’s called The Deprogramming Room.
It’s the place where I say the things that don’t fit on LinkedIn. Not because they’re inappropriate - because LinkedIn rewards palatable, and some of what I think about Good Girl Conditioning, women’s socialisation, and my own ongoing unravelling isn’t palatable. It’s true. Those aren’t always the same thing.
The Room runs on four pillars:
The Psychology — Biderman’s Chart of Coercion, unfiltered. The real mechanisms behind why “just be more confident” was always going to fail you.
The Mess — what’s actually happening in my own deprogramming right now, including my VITA training and the Human Design stuff I find genuinely useful, even when it makes people side-eye me.
The Spiritual — astrology, embodied knowing, the suppressed wisdom women have been taught to call “woo” so we’d stop trusting it.
The Rage — the furious feminist analysis I’ve spent years learning to soften for rooms that didn’t deserve the softening.
One email a week. Free. No paywall, no two-tier conversation happening in two different inboxes.
A few practical things:
This archive isn’t disappearing. Everything we built here together - the comments, the conversations, three years of writing - stays exactly where it is. I’m not deleting it. I’m just not adding to it.
I’m not vanishing. I’m consolidating. There’s a difference, and the difference matters to me.
If you want to keep going with this work, The Deprogramming Room is here. I’d love to keep going with you, just somewhere that actually lets me show up as one whole person instead of two half-versions split across two platforms.
See you in The Room.
Mx
