Why So Many Women Don’t Know What They Want
Untangling from people-pleasing, performance, and the pressure to be everything to everyone
I can’t count the number of times I’ve sat across from a woman – whether in a coaching session, workshop, or even DMs – and asked the simplest of questions:
“What do you want?”
And what I get back is silence.
Fidgeting.
A nervous laugh.
Sometimes tears.
Because the truth is, most women have no idea.
It’s not that they’re flaky or indecisive. It’s that they’ve spent their entire lives becoming what everyone else needed them to be.
The best daughter.
The most reliable friend.
The high-performing colleague.
The emotionally available partner.
The helpful neighbour.
The steady one. The nice one. The understanding one.
They’ve twisted themselves into knots to keep the peace, earn approval, avoid rejection, and stay safe.
And in doing so, they’ve lost touch with their own Rooted Truth.
The Cost of Being “Good”
When women come to me for coaching, they’re often burnt out, resentful, or stuck in a life that looks good on paper – but feels hollow.
They tell me:
“I’ve built my whole career around what was expected of me.”
“I don’t even know what I think anymore.”
“I’m afraid that if I stop people-pleasing, everything will fall apart.”
And underneath all that?
A quiet grief.
A whisper of something more.
A longing to trust themselves again.
Why Women Don’t Trust Themselves
In my book Good Girl Deprogramming, I write about how women are conditioned from an early age to override their instincts.
We’re taught to be accommodating, agreeable, self-sacrificing – to prioritise other people’s comfort over our own clarity.
We learn that:
– Saying no makes us selfish
– Being assertive makes us aggressive
– Trusting ourselves makes us difficult
So we learn to silence that inner voice. We stop asking what we want. We stop listening.
This disconnection isn’t a personal failing – it’s a cultural pattern.
But what was learned can be unlearned.
🗝️ Rooted Truth – The First Key
That’s why Rooted Truth – Trusting Yourself Again is the first immersion in the Summer of Sovereignty series.
Because before you can set boundaries, reclaim visibility, or live from desire instead of duty – you have to come home to yourself.
This immersion is about:
Hearing your own voice again – beneath the noise of shoulds and expectations
Feeling your own yes and no – not the one that keeps everyone else comfortable
Reconnecting with your intuition – even if it’s been years since you listened
It’s a deep unlearning. A return to your own internal compass.
And no – it doesn’t happen all at once.
But the moment you decide to stop abandoning yourself? That’s where it begins.
Here’s what you’ll get when you join Rooted Truth:
We’ll meet for a 90-minute live immersion on Zoom, where I’ll guide you through practices designed to help you tune back into your body, your voice, and your knowing. You’ll be offered real-time coaching prompts, reflection exercises, and space to feel what’s been hidden under the noise of “shoulds.”
After the session, we’ll gather in a 30-minute Integration Lounge – a gentle landing space to ask questions, process what surfaced, and feel supported in your next steps.
You’ll also receive journalling prompts to deepen your insights and a replay if you can’t make it live or want to revisit the experience.
This isn’t fluffy mindset work. It’s sovereignty work.
And it’s designed to help you:
– Reconnect with your inner voice
– Trust your instincts again
– Let go of the guilt around saying no
– Start showing up from truth instead of performance
If you’ve lost touch with what you want or need – this is your invitation to come back to yourself.
You don’t need another strategy.
You need to remember how to trust yourself again.
Rooted Truth – Trusting Yourself Again is your chance to reconnect with the voice inside you that’s been silenced for too long. You’ll leave with practical tools, a clearer sense of what’s true for you, and the courage to stop abandoning yourself in order to make others comfortable.
If you’re ready to stop second-guessing and start reclaiming your own wisdom – join us.
🗓 Friday 11 July | 12:00–13:30 + Integration Lounge
📍 Live on Zoom
You don’t need to have the answers yet.
Just the courage to begin listening.
P.S.
Rooted Truth is the first of a 7-part workshop series for women who are saying no more to abandoning themselves to meet other people’s expectations – and YES to leading from a place that feels powerful, rooted, and real.
You can book each workshop individually for £49, or save £44 when you buy all 7 for £299.
💡 Bonus: If you sign up for a paid annual subscription to my Substack, you’ll receive an exclusive 50% off code for the full Summer of Sovereignty series.
Because liberation isn’t just possible – it’s practical.