You Are Not Responsible for Everyone Else’s Emotions
And six other truths devotional discernment will teach you about sovereignty.
You wake up already behind.
Your to-do list is full of other people’s priorities.
You scroll Instagram while brushing your teeth and see another post telling you to be more magnetic, more productive, more healed.
You’ve journaled. Vision boarded. Saged your desk.
You’ve read the books. Hired the coaches. Pulled the cards.
You’ve been doing the work.
And still, you hesitate.
Still, you wonder if you’re doing it wrong.
Still, you feel like you’re not quite there yet.
Your Energy Is Not Public Property
I heard Taylor Swift say this in an interview recently:
“You should think of your energy as if it’s expensive. As if it’s a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it. Not everyone has invested in you in order to be able to have the capital for you to care about this.”
It hit me right in the gut.
Because most of us have been taught to treat our energy like it’s public property.
Free to use.
Available on demand.
Always up for consensus.
We don’t learn to guard it.
We learn to explain it.
To justify our intuition.
To double-check our boundaries.
To crowdsource our clarity.
You Were Taught to Win – Not to Lead Yourself
High-achieving women know how to do a lot of things.
They know how to win.
They know how to make a plan.
They know how to perform under pressure.
They show up to the 8am Zoom smiling, even when they’re falling apart inside.
They send the perfect follow-up email after a meeting where they weren’t heard.
They say yes to the last-minute request because they don’t want to seem difficult – then spend the weekend recovering.
That’s the training. That’s what got rewarded.
But here’s what we were never taught:
How to lead ourselves.
Because leadership isn’t just being in charge.
It’s discerning what’s yours to carry.
It’s choosing what to care about and what to let go.
It’s honouring your body’s no, even when your brain desperately wants to people-please.
What If Discipline Looked Like Devotion?
We’ve been told that discipline looks like:
being consistent, no matter what
doing what you said you would do, even when it hurts
pushing through your resistance, overriding your hesitation, keeping your foot on the gas
But what if the truest form of discipline… is devotion?
Not devotion to approval or output.
Devotion to your energy.
Your rhythm.
Your right timing.
Your quiet yes.
To you.
From Self-Improvement to Self-Intimacy
That’s the shift:
From self-improvement to self-intimacy.
From seeking answers outside to deep listening inside.
From outsourcing your knowing… to becoming your own authority.
A client tells me she’s exhausted from holding it all together during a restructure.
She’s in freeze mode, afraid to give honest feedback because someone on her team might cry or spiral.
She’s carrying their feelings, their stories, their disappointment – all of it.
I ask her gently:
“What if their emotions aren’t yours to manage?”
She exhales so hard she nearly tips over her tea.
That’s devotional discernment. That exhale. That untangling.
I’ve said this to more than one client this week – and maybe you need to hear it too:
You are not responsible for managing the emotions of everyone else.
Not at home.
Not at work.
That is not your job.
Devotional discernment means letting go of that responsibility.
Not to be cruel.
Not to detach.
But to stay connected to yourself.
Because every time you prioritise someone else’s comfort over your own clarity,
you chip away at your sovereignty.
What Devotional Discernment Sounds Like
“Let me check with my body first.”
“I don’t need a reason to say no.”
“This isn’t for me - even if it makes sense on paper.”
“I’m allowed to wait until it’s a clear yes.”
“Not everything is mine to hold.”
It’s Not About Never Needing Help
It’s not about never needing guidance.
It’s about knowing when to receive it and when to override it.
It’s about recognising when the feedback is useful and when it’s a distraction.
It’s about trusting yourself enough to lead, even when the path looks different.
Baby Steps Toward Devotional Discernment
You don’t have to burn your to-do list or quit your job to start living from inner authority.
Start here:
Pause before you reply. When someone asks something of you, take a breath. Don’t say yes just to close the loop.
Ask yourself: is this a soul yes or a social yes? Notice where the pressure is coming from – your body or the outside world?
Let silence be an answer. Not everything demands an immediate response.
Try saying “let me get back to you” instead of defaulting to yes. Create space to feel into it.
Set a micro-boundary. Cancel something that drains you. Turn off notifications. Leave one group chat.
Track your clarity. Write down one moment each day when you honoured your knowing, even in a tiny way.
✨ Imagine this:
You get a text: “Can you help me with this thing real quick?”
Your thumb hovers over “Sure!” – the good girl answer.
But you pause.
You feel that tug in your belly. Not a yes. Not a no. Just… not now.
You reply: “Can I come back to you in an hour?”
You breathe.
That tiny pause is a sacred boundary.
That’s what this work looks like on the ground.
These aren’t acts of rebellion.
They’re acts of devotion.
Your Invitation to Come Home to Yourself
If your body is tired of pushing.
If your mind is full of noise.
If your soul is whispering there’s got to be another way – this is your invitation.
Join me for Devotional Discernment – the final immersion in the Summer of Sovereignty.
We’ll explore how to lead from your inner authority with clarity, ritual, and sacred self-respect.
You already are the leader you’ve been waiting for.
Let’s bring her all the way home.
Or… Start With the Free Webinar
If you’re curious about this journey of deprogramming and reclaiming your power…
Join me for my free live webinar:
Good Girl to Unf*ckwithable Era
We’ll explore:
how to spot the programming you’ve absorbed
how to release it
how to step fully into your power – without shrinking yourself for anyone
This is your first step toward sovereignty.
You don’t have to be fixed.
You just have to be willing to see things differently.
Mx